Friday, December 17, 2010

A Short Poem, And I Apologize For My Laziness

One day we'll take a ride in my paper boat
Float down the stream where the otters go
Just me and you together on a sunny day
Laughing, holding hands as we sail away

From the paper deck we can watch the skies
Counting all the clouds as the shapes fly by
In my paper boat we can go anywhere
We'll pack a lunch, a picnic we can share

Me and you sailing down the lazy stream
Maybe things aren't as bad as they can seem
Cause I got my paper boat and I got my girl
Think I'll play a while in the park of the world.


  1. Such a simple, powerful poem. I really love the concept. Wonderful work Jon. :)

  2. first of all: adorable, silly, and oh-so cheesy. just a lighthearted skip in contrast to your previous works. so yay ☺ i do note that you held onto your jerky poetic rhyme scheme. since your last poem displayed the same, i'm guessing that this is an intentional choice that we should come to expect (?). you crazy kids and your postmod poetry. if that is not the case, i did feel some words that could be omitted to smooth it out.
    the tale begs me to inquire as to your inspiration? (ooo la la)

  3. Tweet-
    Your comments on the rhythm kind of elude me- I have no musical training, but rhythm and cadence I do lend some I'm wondering why it's not translating. This I very much intend to put to music once I finally pick up my oft-dreamt of Ukelele... Maybe that accounts for some of the problems. As far as the inspiration, I quite simply started with the opening line and went from there. The girl in question is an abstraction,the focus for me was in the pastoral quality and whimsy. Even the last line verse is really just borrowed from your standard pop-fare.

    And of course, Thanks so much for the kind words and encouragement!

  4. ...or maybe i have no sense of rhythm =/ or my sense of rhythm is limited perhaps...? regardless, it's fun. you certainly captured the pastoral whimsy- it is the kind of poem that evokes images of a dandy gent in a skimmer hat, a swooning lady love, a ukulele, and a rowboat ride for two. now pick up a ukelele and string together some cords!

  5. Rhythm seems fine to me. I think if there are any halting spots it's overridden by the general whimsy of the poem. It'd just plain delightful! I accept your apology, good sir. :)